I Miss You
by Kailee1109
Summary: I didn't even have the chance to know how you feel about me, what are we if you didn't die? do we end up together? NejixTenten One Shot


I know there is something beautiful about this tragic girl.

A sigh with a little disappointment on my face, well at least i have to be honest with myself, me being tragic, i mean look at me i'm 32 and not married not even entertaining any suitors and i hate myself for doing that, i push them away to be honest but i'm jealous of how everyone got to have their own love story, their own family and their own happiness, and me? i ended up like the one i admired. i ended up being alone.

Walking down the modernize village of konoha after a mission is completely satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time, it means i survived right? but i don't have someone to walk with unlike before. You know sometimes i smile and pretend to be okay, i smile to show everyone that i'm happy being alone, that it's okay to be alive even if you're dying inside. It feels like i'm living in a body that is constantly in struggle to be okay.

I stop when i reach the cemetery, it was quite old yet clean, few fresh flowers here and there, haven't been here for a while. A few more steps and and i stopped, again, i sat down next to your grave and bowed down to give respect.

 _feelings make you suffer_ i bitterly told myself.

"I'm Back and I'm Alive"

Said with a faint smile, though you know i want to die in one of my missions honestly, but i survive, i always do.

Sunlight helps me to pretend, but moonlight bare my wounds. This is who i am now, some days i feel broke inside, sometimes i just want to hide because i miss you but i need to conceal my true emotion and feeling just to make the society, Guy-Sensei, Lee, our comrades and friends happy because if they'd knew how i feel, i know one of them, hinata maybe or naruto will have to bare the same sadness i have, not because of you though but because of me, so that's why i have to be happy during daytime. Between tears and sighs i struggle, i cry i just want to lay down and

embrace this grave as if it was you, i knew this won't make you come back but i've been like this ever since, the night is beautiful yet so cruel, i can only be like this when i go here, i know this is the only place i can do this. My bear hands could only touch a cold stone with your name imprint on it, this silence screams chaos on me.

"Can you see me?"

my voice is crack and my neck is stiffening from trying my best to held back the hurt and tears inside my heart.

"I miss you"

I put up a fight, every time that i was here, i put up a fight but these tears always, always and always wins.

The first time i shed tears because your light burnt out the day i finally realize that i had this feeling only for you.

The day i realize i know i don't want anybody else.

Though vague i still remember your face, the prodigy's face, those white dazzling eyes, this tired soul of mine wants to be loved by this man secretly, i just wished we had talk about the feelings we choose to skip, it wasn't fair. I'll forever live with this guilt of blaming you, blaming your quick initiative to save hinata and naruto, why it would have to be you?

I didn't even have the chance to know how you feel about me, what are we if you didn't die? do we end up together?

You started like fire and ended up like ash.

as i look up at the sky a tear on my eye rolled down my cheeks, it feels like yesterday when i saw your face.

i want hold you

i want hug you

i want to look at you and the eye and tell you that it's hard to be this way, it's hard to say goodbye when all i want is you, you alive.

 _are you looking at me from up there? would you tell me i was wrong? wrong for being like this?_

how can i understand when i refuse to understand your reasoning to willingly die so young.

I always pray for one chance to see you, to tell you how i feel, to tell you i miss you, to tell you i made it this far, but until now i'm just expecting worst hurting myself.

 _i miss you_

 _always._

I guess some people meant to stay in our heart forever.


End file.
